Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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