Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
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I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
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My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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