I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
