When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this will be a night to untag.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
