I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
