STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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