By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
