I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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