Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
