yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize