please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
