Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
