I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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