We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
