For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
