Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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