Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
