If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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