Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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