sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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