how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
