im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize