the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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