Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
