the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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