grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I fill condoms, not promises.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
