do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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