Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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