theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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