Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
