i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
