I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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