Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
