I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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