Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize
