I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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