you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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