There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
