Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
please don't ironically join a cult
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