a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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