i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
