GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
