Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
