Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
