i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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