He kissed a someone with a penis
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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