just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize