Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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