When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
