i think my tv is drunk
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize