Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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