cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
