Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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