I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.