Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.