It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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