I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
