do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I love you. Go after that dick