im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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