she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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