It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize