when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
