dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize